Sunday, July 30, 2006

Give War a Chance

Letter to all Americans from John Cleese [From a reader]

In light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories excepting Kansas, (which she does not fancy).

Your new prime minister, Tony Blair, will appoint a governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up aluminium, and check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.

2. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix ize will be replaced by the suffix ise. Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up vocabulary).

3. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as US English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of - ize. You will relearn your original national anthem, God Save The Queen.

4. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday. Instead you will follow the Canadian tradition of celebrating the 24th of May in honour of Queen Victoria. You will also note that our Queen's have very long reigns as Monarch's.

5. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.

6. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

7. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and this is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.

8. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

9. The Former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) - roughly £6.00/UK gallon. Get used to it.

10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with mayonnaise but with vinegar and salt and wrapped in newspaper.

11. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.

12. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie MacDowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.

13. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play Rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full Kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).

14. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 21% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable.

15. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.

16. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776) and will be paid in gold from Fort Knox.

17. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 PM with proper cups, never mugs, high quality cucumber sandwiches, biscuits (cookies) and cakes; strawberries in season.

Thank you for your co-operation - signed - John Cleese.

A fair and balanced response by Israel

On Monday, an MSNBC reporter said that, as of that day, Israel had fired 20,000 artillery shells into Lebanon (versus approximately 1200 rockets from Hezbollah). A few days earlier. I saw a news piece hyping the Israeli artillery capabilities re: shelling Lebanon.The piece didn't specify the 155mm ammunition the Israelis were using. If the munitions are the new XM982 Excaliber from Israel's enabler, the US, the munitions have a range (accurate) beyond 30km (18miles), or six miles further than the Katyusha rockets. If Israelis are using new and improved versions of the Excaliber munitions, then the range might be 37km or 22 miles. The XM982 shell can contain 85 XM80 grenades which are dispersed when the target is reached.

Actually there are several versions of the munition:

"Excalibur is a family of precision-guided, extended-range modular projectiles incorporating three unique payload capabilities divided into Block configurations. Block I consists of high-explosive, fragmenting, or penetrating unitary munitions to enhance traditional fire support operations with increased range, improved accuracy, and reduced collateral damage against personnel, light materiel, and structure targets. Block II consists of smart munitions to search, detect, acquire, and engage fleeting and short-dwell targets common to open-terrain battlefields. Block III consists of discriminating munitions to selectively identify and engage individual vehicular targets in urban environments by distinguishing specific target characteristics. Excalibur’s precision capabilities are intended to be used by Future Combat System (FCS) Non-Line-of-Sight (NLOS) Cannon units to provide close support to maneuver units in urban or complex terrain. Digitized lightweight 155mm howitzer systems will be used to develop and test Excalibur’s capabilities before FCS NLOS Cannon is fielded."

If the Israelis don't have access to the XM982 munitions, the least they would be using is the M107, the standard issue 155mm projectile. The M107 weighs 95 pounds vs. the reported weight of the Katyusha warhead of 50 pounds. One referenced article speaks of the "weight of fire" referring to the effectiveness of munitions upon impact. It's too technical for me to decipher on short or long notice. Photographs of Beirut indicate the soldiers of Zion are "gettin' her done", as GWB might say.

The Katyusha rocket is related to the Russian rocket used in WWII. It is a barrage rocket and is accurate within one kilometer of where it is aimed. So no one really knows where it is going, not even Hezbollah. One article said it might have a range of 70 km. Given the lack of accuracy, however, it would have no strategic military value at that distance.

If Israel fired 20,000 155mm M107s at Lebanon, that would be 1,900,000 lbs of shells. It's no wonder that parts of Beirut are looking like parts of London during the Blitz. And we're not counting the bombs dropped during 1,500 air sorties flown as of Monday. On Tuesday there were huge explosions in Beirut that had to be at least 1,000 pound bombs. Twelve hundred Katyushas come to 60,000 pounds of warheads.

At this point, it would seem that diplomacy would've been a more proportionate response to three missing soldiers than a US enabled Israeli blitzkrieg of Lebanon.

The US and Israel are creating terrorists faster than they can kill them.

Picks of the Week:

Harper's Weekly Review

If Fox News had been around throughout history

Some funny items!

Global Eye

"The history of almost every religion is a tragedy of betrayal: the betrayal of the radical, egalitarian vision of its founders by generations of powerful elites, who twist and pervert the original principles in order to augment their own status, wealth and dominion. It has always been thus, but is nowhere more marked than among the 'People of the Book' -- Christians, Muslims and Jews -- whose elites have for centuries led their followers away from the sparks of light that shone in the beginning, dragging them deeper into darkness and error, until today the world finds itself mired in a new Jahiliyyah, or time of ignorance."

Evangelicals unite for Israel

"Thousands of evangelical Christians converged on Washington last week to urge lawmakers [to] back Israel, currently engaged in an unjustified offensive that’s killed scores of civilians in Lebanon and Palestine, and declaring their unwavering support for the Jewish State."

A long haired, strangely clad man speaking some form of ancient aramaic supposedly said, "Who the f**k are these people?" before suddenly disappearing in a flash of light.

Lawmakers form pro-Israel caucus

"The caucus’ formation comes in response to a 2004 initiative launched in the Knesset to develop lines of communication between Knesset members and Christian groups and denominations around the world."

The American political market and the 51st state

"The AIPAC [American Israeli Political Action Commitee] lobby is so powerful that it has succeeded in imposing its complete censorship on both houses of Congress, for any foreign policy related directly or indirectly to Israel. It is common knowledge that no senator or representative dares make a speech on the floor of his or her institution critical of Israeli policy, simply because the retribution could be the loss of his or her seat. —Senators or representatives who do not receive a sufficiently high legislative mark from AIPAC find themselves opposed in their primaries or in their elections by well-oiled adversaries. AIPAC's allies in the far right media cheerleaders crowd, radio talk shows and TV attack crews at Fox News Channel stand ready to finish the job and oppose any American politician who wavers somewhat regarding Israel."

Very informative. Israel is more important to US pols than US voters.

"The ugly truth about the Anti-Defamation League"

"All told, 211 candidates for the United States House and Senate from 48 states received money from the ADL/AIPAC PACs between January 1st, 1991 and March 31st, 1992.

"Of the 211 recipients, 187 were incumbents.

"The total amount given in that 15-month period was well over $2 million, making ADL/AIPAC the second largest source of institutional money to candidates for federal office, second only to the combined donations of all of the labor union PACs."

Israel's man at the UN

"As international criticism of Israel mounts, President Bush has asked Congress to approve his renomination of Bolton—a longtime State Department diplomat who has over three decades sought to debilitate the United Nations and who has earned a reputation as a defender of an aggressive Israel. The Zionist Organization of America (ZOA) calls Bolton 'one of Israel's truest friends in the world.'"

And one of the sickest people in BushCo . . . and that's saying something.

Battle over Bolton could be decided by Jewish support

"'I believe almost every Republican will be supporting' Bolton in the Senate, and 'you're going to have a surprising number of Democrats supporting him because of his record' of 'courage, intelligence and eloquence,' said Morton Klein, president of the Zionist Organization of America (ZOA)."

Israel's star-spangled arsenal

"Much has been made in the US media of the Syrian- and Iranian-origin weaponry used by Hezbollah in the escalating violence in Israel and Lebanon. There has been no parallel discussion of the origin of Israel's weaponry, the vast bulk of which is from the United States.

"The US is the primary source of Israel's far superior arsenal. For more than 30 years, Israel had been the largest recipient of US foreign assistance, and since 1985 Jerusalem has received about US$3 billion in military and economic aid each year from Washington. US aid accounts for more than 20% of Israel's total defense budget."

Dead children: Excuses, lies, and inaction - an open letter to my Congressman

"The situation in Lebanon is the result of many years of unconditional support for Israel, and over $42 million dollars in pro-Israel PAC money contributed to our Congressmen. It's time to do something about this. I would encourage all Americans to write to their Congressmen and let them know that enough is enough. If you don't want to write your own letter, feel free to copy and modify this one."

Pro-Israel PAC contributions to 2006 Congressional candidates

Handy chart.

34 youths among 56 dead in Israeli strike

"Israeli missiles hit several buildings in a southern Lebanon village as people slept Sunday, killing at least 56, most of them children, in the deadliest attack in 19 days of fighting. Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert expressed 'great sorrow' for the airstrikes but blamed Hezbollah guerrillas for using the area to launch rockets at Israel, and said he would not halt the army's operation."

Sorry . . . but not that sorry.

Tide of Arab opinion turns to support for Hezbollah

"Now, with hundreds of Lebanese dead and Hezbollah holding out against the vaunted Israeli military for more than two weeks, the tide of public opinion across the Arab world is surging behind the organization, transforming the Shiite group’s leader, Sheik Hassan Nasrallah, into a folk hero and forcing a change in official statements.

"The Saudi royal family and King Abdullah II of Jordan, who were initially more worried about the rising power of Shiite Iran, Hezbollah’s main sponsor, are scrambling to distance themselves from Washington."

Bush and chaos in the world

"Contrary to previous American presidents who tried to maintain at least the appearance of neutrality in the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, Bush chose instead to put his foot in his mouth by proclaiming his overt partiality: 'We're going to correct the imbalances from the previous administration on the Mideast conflict. We're going to tilt it back toward Israel. And we're going to be consistent."'

"Then Bush declared his contempt for international treaties and for international law, joking smart-aleckly that his lawyer, future Attorney General Alberto Gonzales 'didn't bring that up to me.' Moreover, he proceeded to cancel unilaterally decades-old treaties and conventions.

Rice begins Mideast tour to promote US-Israeli war aims

"Rice visits Israel not, as media accounts suggest, to act as a moderating influence on the Zionist regime. Rather, following the logic of Bush administration foreign policy, Rice will pressure the Israelis to intensify the violence in south Lebanon so as to create the optimum conditions for joint Israeli and American pressure against the Syrian regime of President Bashar Assad."

Condi Rice's Mid-East fantasy ride

"American officials are very good at vernacular descriptions, but lousy at history and political reality in the Middle East. As U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice sets off Sunday on her short trip to a Middle East that is increasingly engulfed in violent confrontations and political turmoil, she has described the massive destruction, dislocation and human suffering in Lebanon as an inevitable part of the 'birth pangs of a new Middle East'."

Kindasleezy is in over her head on her breeze through chaos, but she remains ever perky as she struts and stumbles on the world stage.

Labor pains of a stillborn foreign policy

"The Bush foreign policy, from coddling Pakistan’s nuclear bomb-making to cheerleading Israel’s attacks on the Gaza Strip and Lebanon, is in a free fall of such alarming consequence that it may be difficult to grasp."

Rice leaves bloody footprints in Lebanon

"At some point in the future, when the ill-fated American drive for hegemony in the first decade of the twenty-first century is subjected to critical study, historians will discover ugly parallels between the tenure of Condoleezza Rice as American secretary of state under President Bush and that of Joachim Ribbentrop as German foreign minister under Chancellor Hitler. All the characteristics of the foreign policy of the Third Reich as it set the stage for World War—its depraved deceitfulness, cynicism, hypocrisy, recklessness, fascination with violence and utter contempt for human life—are to be observed 70 years later in the operations of the Bush administration, for whom Rice serves as chief foreign policy spokesman."

Talks fail on Mideast truce

"The Rome conference did not bridge the gap between a tough U.S. position, opposing a cease-fire except as part of a broader arrangement that can endure for years, and European and Arab calls for an immediate halt to the fighting. The meeting went 90 minutes longer than expected, largely because of stiff debate over the cease-fire issue, U.S. diplomats said."

Bush, Blair meet to oppose Lebanon ceasefire and back Irael's war aims

"President Bush summoned British Prime Minister Tony Blair to Washington Friday to perform his usual function of lending US foreign policy an international veneer. Amidst growing international outrage over Israel’s bloody assault on the Lebanese people, the two leaders stood by their intransigent defence of Israeli aggression."

In 2002 someone sent me a postcard with Bush, Blair, and Howard wearing Beatles' Sgt. Pepper attire. Underneath, it said, "Give war a chance." Ian may've sent it to me.

Cabinet in open revolt over Blair's Israel policy

"Tony Blair was facing a full-scale cabinet rebellion last night over the Middle East crisis after his former Foreign Secretary warned that Israel's actions risked destabilising all of Lebanon.

"Jack Straw, now Leader of the Commons, said in a statement released after meeting Muslim residents of his Blackburn constituency that while he grieved for the innocent Israelis killed, he also mourned the '10 times as many innocent Lebanese men, women and children killed by Israeli fire'."

Rupert Murdoch to offer Tony Blair senior role in media empire

"The media magnate Rupert Murdoch is expected to offer Tony Blair a senior role in his News Corporation empire when he stands down as Prime Minister."

Tony will wait to see what the Carlyle Group offers him.

Congresswoman Woolsey calls for repeal of president's Iraq war powers

"One of the most outspoken critics of the war in Iraq, Congresswoman Lynn Woolsey (D-Petaluma) today introduced H.R. 5875, legislation that would repeal the President’s War Powers for the Iraq War. While the Congress authorized President Bush to wage war against Iraq in 2002, the original authorization did not anticipate an open-ended U.S. military campaign against Iraq, or the occupation that currently exists."

Impeachment followed by a war crimes indictment would be better.

Anti-Americanism prompts push for "citizen diplomacy"

"With anti-American sentiment at unprecedented levels around the world, Americans worried about their country's low standing are pushing a grassroots campaign to change foreign perceptions of the United States 'one handshake at a time.'

"The idea is to turn millions of Americans into "citizen diplomats" who use personal meetings with foreigners to counter the ugly image of the United States shown in a series of international public opinion polls. They show widespread negative attitudes not only toward U.S. policies but also toward the American people and, increasingly, even American products."

The idea of a Coalition for Citizen Diplomacy might have legs.

When will we ever learn?

"Science tells us that modern humans have been around for over 200,000 years, and recorded history to date goes back about 5,000 years or so. With all that experience behind us and five millennia of written accounts to ponder and take lessons from, one would think that we should have learned something more about cooperation and working together for a common good rather than engaging in an endless cycle of violence."

Welcome to the Coalition for Citizen Diplomacy

"The Coalition for Citizen Diplomacy, representing millions of volunteer citizen diplomats across the United States, promotes positive and sustainable international engagement of Americans through a wide range of international exchange and educational initiatives involving innovative public, private, and volunteer partnerships."

It's easy (and free) to join.

Touching photos of unusual animal friendships

One would think if "dumb" animals can do it why can't we?

A 'new' Mideast? W's or Osama's

"As George W. Bush and Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice huddle with representatives of old-line Arab regimes and as Israel continues pounding targets in Lebanon, it is becoming increasingly clear why al-Qaeda leader Osama bin-Laden wanted Bush to gain a second term as U.S. President." . . . .

"Today, bin-Laden’s strategy makes even more sense. Bush’s violent policies for reshaping the Middle East are spreading popular rage as the death toll mounts in Lebanon from Israeli air strikes against Hezbollah guerrilla strongholds and as Palestinians continue to die from Israel’s crackdown in Gaza, following raids that captured three Israeli soldiers."

Morality is not on our side

"This war is not a just war. Israel is using excessive force without distinguishing between civilian population and enemy, whose sole purpose is extortion. That is not to say that morality and justice are on Hezbollah's side. Most certainly not. But the fact that Hezbollah 'started it' when it kidnapped soldiers from across an international border does not even begin to tilt the scales of justice toward our side."

Sane Jewish writer in Israeli newspaper.

Growing disquiet in Israel over Lebanon war

"Several factors are contributing to the disquiet, including genuine horror at the atrocities being committed against the defenceless Lebanese population. There is also shock at the unexpectedly determined resistance of Hezbollah fighters, the failure of the Israeli military’s aerial bombardment to crush Hezbollah, making a ground war necessary, and the rising casualty toll among Israeli soldiers. Disputes have also emerged over the war’s economic and social impact on ordinary Israelis, particularly in the north."

Belgian Jewish leader: Israel committing war crimes

"Jewish associations have begun to react against the Israeli offensive into Lebanon. Head of the Union of Belgian Jewish Progressives (UPJB) Dr. Jacques Ravedovitch stated that Israel is committing war crimes in Lebanon.

"In an interview with Zaman in Brussels, Ravedovitch said that while former Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon committed indirect war crimes, current Prime Minister Ehud Olmert is unquestionably a war criminal."

And Bush and Blair?

Eyewitness: Mass burial in Lebanon

"Everyone is covering their face to keep out the stench as Lebanese soldiers remove dozens of bodies from the back of a truck. The first body is a day-old baby -- killed in an Israeli airstrike, according to the Lebanese Army. On her coffin a marking shows she had no name."

Atrocities mount as Israel intensifies bombardment of Lebanon

"Openly backed and armed by the United States, Israel is carrying out mounting atrocities in Lebanon in an attempt to overcome unexpectedly fierce resistance from the Hezbollah movement. With its 17-day aerial bombardment having failed to wipe out Hezbollah, or weaken its support among the population, Israel has intensified its onslaught."

Bush urges Mideast peace "for the sake of children"

"US President George W. Bush, responding to the deaths of more than 50 civilians in an Israeli air attack in Lebanon, called Sunday for an end to the fighting in the Middle East 'for the sake of children.'”

I wonder, were doves released from the stands as the Moron spoke these words?

Netanyahu's latest hypocrisy: Israel and the irony of UN resolutions

"Given Netanyahu's eagerness to cite U.N. resolutions, and given that the civilian death toll in Lebanon has passed 300 (many of the innocents are women and children) and given that the destruction of Lebanon's civilian infrastructure is nearly complete, it's time to revisit the idea of U.N. resolutions. While doing so, let's look at Israel's compliance with those measures."

Similar to Bush - abide by laws, treaties, pacts, agreements, promises, oaths, handshakes when convenient; ignore them when it's not.

Mr. Bush, What about Israel's defiance of UN resolutions?

"As we watched your speech to the United Nations General Assembly on September 12, 2002, we were struck by the ironic proximity of the Israeli and Iraqi delegations. Ironic, because many of the accusations you leveled against Iraq could, with ample justification, be directed toward Israel."

An Israeli spy network arrested in Lebanon

"'One of the prominent figures in the network confessed that Israel has put itself on the alert 4 days before arrest of the two Israeli soldiers and provided its inactive spy cells with directives and technologies regarding targeting centers and headquarters of Hizbullah party in all Lebanese territories particularly in the Beirut's southern suburb.'"

From Syrian Arab News Agency, so . . . .

Iranian president says UNSC [UN Security Council] concerned only for Israel's security

"'Upon hearing the slightest criticism against the Zionist regime they issue dozens of resolutions, but now, 13 days after that regime's massive attack against Lebanon using the most fatal weapons they even refrain from asking for a truce,' he added."

Israeli airstrike hits UN observer post

"The U.N. initially reported that four peacekeepers were dead, but later said there were two dead and two missing. The observers were Austrian, Finnish, Canadian and Chinese, Lebanese security sources said."

Ensuring continued UN compliance? I wonder what cover Bushboy Harper will provide for the dead Canadian.

PM did not do enough to protect Canadians

"Not since George W. Bush appeared on a U.S. warship declaring 'Mission Accomplished' in Iraq has there been a more transparent — and ridiculous — attempt by a political leader to portray himself as a heroic defender of his people.

"Harper's arrival may have actually interfered with the evacuation. As The Globe and Mail reported from Cyprus, Harper's 'rescue mission ended up adding confusion and delay to an evacuation effort that was already running into serious snags ... A special diplomatic effort was needed, involving dozens of officials, to shift schedules so that at least some (Canadian evacuees) would arrive in Cyprus during the PM's visit.'"

An accident waiting to happen [Motive for murdering UN personnel]

"And, most sinister of all, there are many Israelis - including the government only a few days ago - who do not want an international force between them and their targets in Lebanon, who would have no great scruples about bombing a UN compound 'accidentally on purpose'. "This time, the 'collateral damage' is not just four dead UN personnel. The bombing scotches any realistic chance of a reinforced UN or multinational peacekeeping force - which it is worth remembering that Israel itself opposed until a few days ago, and which the war party in Israel sees as a potential obstacle to their attempts to emulate Ariel Sharon's disastrous invasion in 1982. (See Israeli peace group's Gush Shalom's ad in Ha'aretz at the end of the article.) "

Israel troops 'ignored' UN plea

"UN peacekeepers in south Lebanon contacted Israeli troops 10 times before an Israeli bomb killed four of them, an initial UN report says."

Observers made many calls before strike

"'Furthermore, General Alain Pelligrini, the U.N. force commander in south Lebanon, had been in repeated contact with Israeli officers throughout the day on Tuesday, stressing the need to protect that particular U.N. position from attack.'

"The timeline provided CNN by a U.N. officer in Lebanon showed the first bomb exploded about 200 yards from the U.N. outpost at 1:20 p.m. Tuesday, prompting the first call by the UNIFIL observers to their designated contact with the Israeli military. The officer said they were assured by the Israeli liaison that he would stop the attacks."

UN observers leave Israel-Lebanon border

"The United Nations has decided to remove 50 unarmed observers from posts along the Israeli-Lebanese border and relocate them with lightly armed UN peacekeepers, a spokesman said Friday."

Is an unobserved Israel a well behaved Israel?

The religion of air power (Scroll down)

"That's them. But what about us? On our we/they planet, most groups don't consider themselves barbarians. Nonetheless, we have largely achieved non-barbaric status in an interesting way -- by removing the most essential aspect of the American (and, right now, Israeli) way of war from the category of the barbaric. I'm talking, of course, about air power, about raining destruction down on the earth from the skies, and about the belief -- so common, so long-lasting, so deep-seated -- that bombing others, including civilian populations, is a 'strategic' thing to do; that air power can, in relatively swift measure, break the 'will' not just of the enemy, but of that enemy's society; and that such a way of war is the royal path to victory."

I was just thinking about this last night. The Luftwaffe before and during WWII effectively used the Stuka dive bomber to terrorize civilian populations. Is there any difference between bombing London indiscriminately and bombing Lebanon indiscriminately? Or Baghdad. Or Vietnam? Let's face it, an armed airplane is a weapon of mass destruction . . . look at Beirut.

Israel prepares major escalation of Lebanon aggression

"The large-scale reserve call-up is but one indication that Israel is preparing a massive escalation of violence against the Lebanese population. Israeli Justice Minister Haim Ramon gave an interview to Israel’s Army Radio in which he said that the Israeli air force should bomb Lebanese towns and villages before the ground forces enter in order to cut Israeli casualties. Asked if this meant destroying villages and their civilian population, he responded, 'These places are not villages. They are military bases in which Hezbollah people are hiding and from which they are operating.'"

War criminal.

Harper's pro-Israel stance

"But, astonishingly, Harper refused to do the very minimum necessary — to call for a ceasefire.
"Instead, he did the opposite. He defended Israel's bombing, calling it a 'measured' response — a description he refused to withdraw even after a Canadian family vacationing in Lebanon was killed by an Israeli bomb."

Red Cross ambulances destroyed in Israeli air strike on rescue mission

"The ambulance headlamps were on, the blue light overhead was flashing, and another light illuminated the Red Cross flag when the first Israeli missile hit, shearing off the right leg of the man on the stretcher inside. As he lay screaming beneath fire and smoke, patients and ambulance workers scrambled for safety, crawling over glass in the dark. Then another missile hit the second ambulance."

Israeli UN ambassador's response? "Shit happens."

Israeli strike hits lorry carrying aid

"The lorry was destroyed just a few kilometres from Lebanon's eastern border with Syria in the town of Anjar. Israel has been hitting targets in southern Lebanon, Beirut and other parts of the country in a war with Hizbollah.

"An Israeli air strike on July 18 hit another lorry carrying aid donated by the UAE. The lorry, whose driver was killed, was travelling from Damascus."

Israel using banned cluster and vacuum bombs and white phosphorous against civilians in Lebanon

"At 6 p.m. Sunday, people with access to television listened in horror as LBC correspondent Haidar Houeila broke down on the air, describing the gruesome scene at the site of an Israeli strike against a Civil Defense outpost in Tyre that was housing scores of civilians. "'I can see parts of bodies, lots of families...' he said, his voice rising in terror. 'It's all residential, there's nothing, nothing military here.' "At least 20 civilians were killed and over 50 wounded, including an American woman who reportedly told Houiela: 'Let this be a message to George Bush.' At the time of the report, the death toll in Lebanon had passed 120. By 8 p.m. it was at least 140."

Uniting the Arab world . . . heh, heh.

Civilians bear fear, injuries, death, grief

"Jawad Najem, a surgeon at the hospital, said patients admitted Sunday had burns from phosphorous incendiary weapons used by Israel. The Geneva Conventions ban using white phosphorus as an incendiary weapon against civilian populations and in air attacks against military forces in civilian areas. Israel said its weapons comply with international law."

Israeli strike kills family of seven in Lebanon

"An Israeli air strike on a village in southern Lebanon overnight killed a family of seven, Lebanese security sources said on Tuesday.

"The raid on the village of Nabatieh killed a man, his wife and five children, the sources said."

Aid door to Lebanon closed: UN agencies

"'It is enormously frustrating to be right on the back doorstep of Lebanon and ready to move in with hundreds of tonnes of aid, but the door remains closed,' spokeswoman Jennifer Pagonis of the refugee agency UNHCR told a news briefing."

Shut up, bitch; we've got some killin' to do!

Bombings hit children hardest

"About 55 percent of all casualties at the Beirut Government University Hospital are children of 15 years of age or less, hospital records show."'This is worse than during the Lebanese civil war,' Bilal Masri, assistant director of the hospital, one of Beirut's largest, told IPS Monday. "Not only are most of the patients children, but many of the injured have been brought in serious condition, he said. 'Now we have a 30 percent fatality rate here in Beirut. That means that 30 percent of everyone hit by Israeli bombs are dying. It is a catastrophe.'"

One in five Lebanese is now a refugee

"Schools, public buildings and private apartments are filled to capacity. Next will be the mosques, a miracle of sectarian goodwill as the local Sunni mufti has agreed to open the places of prayer to the overwhelmingly Shia refugees."

Blood in Beirut: $75.05 a barrel by Greg Palast

"Why not? Why haven’t what we laughably call 'leaders' of the USA, Iran and Saudi Arabia called back their delinquent spawn, cut off their allowances and grounded them for six months?
"Maybe because mayhem and murder in the Middle East are very, very profitable to the sponsors of these characters with bombs and rockets. America, Iran and Saudi Arabia share one thing in common: they are run by oil regimes. The higher the price of crude, the higher the profits and the happier the presidents and princelings of these petroleum republics."

Israel blasts Lebanon after heavy losses

"Israeli jets knocked down communications masts in the Amsheet area north of Beirut after attacking three trucks carrying medical and food supplies to the east, killing two drivers, security sources said. Israel accuses Lebanon's eastern neighbour Syria of supplying Hezbollah with weapons."

Oil spill adds ecological crisis to Lebanon's agony
"Along Lebanon's sandy beaches and rocky headlands runs a belt of black sludge, 10,000 to 30,000 tonnes of oil that spilled into the Mediterranean Sea after Israel bombed a power plant.
"Lebanon's Environment Ministry says the oil flooded into the sea when Israeli jets hit storage tanks at the Jiyyeh plant south of Beirut on July 13 and 15, creating an ecological crisis that Lebanon's government has neither the money nor the expertise to deal with."

Israel rejects peace offer

"Israel dismissed Hezbollah's offer as disingenuous and said it was an indication of the guerrillas' weakness on the battlefield. But the Shiite Muslim militia's willingness to participate in the initiative shows a flexibility to negotiate not previously evident as the fighting raged in southern Lebanon."
The day Israel realized this was a real war
"When a bloody ambush in a Lebanese village ripped apart a squad of Israeli troops last week, the full reality of the fighting reached homes in Tel Aviv and Jerusalem for the first time. But calls for a major offensive have reawakened painful memories of old defeats, and old losses, across the troubled border."

Israeli strikes on Gaza kill 24

"Twenty-four Palestinians, including a baby and two toddlers, were killed as Israel pounded the Gaza Strip with air strikes and artillery on the deadliest day in the territory for two weeks.
"The bloodshed came one day after Palestinian president Mahmud Abbas demanded an immediate ceasefire to Israel's offensive, launched with the twin purposes of retrieving a captured soldier and stopping rocket attacks."

Building upon the Moron's cowboy diplomacy, it would seem the only good Arab is a dead Arab.

Sectarian break-up of Iraq is now inevitable, admit officials

"'Iraq as a political project is finished,' a senior government official was quoted as saying, adding: 'The parties have moved to plan B.' He said that the Shia, Sunni and Kurdish parties were now looking at ways to divide Iraq between them and to decide the future of Baghdad, where there is a mixed population. 'There is serious talk of Baghdad being divided into [Shia] east and [Sunni] west,' he said."

I'm a uniter, not a divider . . . heh, heh.

Relentless sectarian violence in Baghdad stalks victims even at the morques

"Now, even the morgues have become a source of danger, at least for Sunni Arabs. In recent months, Shiite militias have been staking out Baghdad’s central morgue in particular, and the authorities have received dozens of reports of kidnappings and killings of Sunni Arabs there."

Iraq - getting worse

"Last November, the Senate declared 2006 'to be a period of significant transition for Iraq' and called on President Bush to put forward a strategy for 'the successful completion of the mission in Iraq.' A recent study by the nonpartisan Government Accountability Office, however, found the President's plan to be 'incomplete.' Our failures in Iraq carry a high price. In the first half of 2006, more than 14,000 Iraqis and more than 350 U.S. troops have been killed in the war. The Bush administration will use today's visit by Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki to tout progress in Iraq, but his visit underscores the failure of the administration to make any significant transitions in 2006."

Iraqi parliament speaker says invasion and aftermath are the 'work of butchers'

"The speaker of the Iraqi Parliament criticized the American government’s involvement in Iraq on Saturday, likening the invasion and its consequences to 'the work of butchers' and demanding that the American authorities disentangle themselves from Iraq’s political affairs."

So Bush, not Hussein, is the Butcher of Baghdad. Since he's responsible for liberating more Iraqis from their lives, I reckon so.

'Waiting to get blown up': Some troops in Baghdad express frustration with war and mission

"Army Staff Sgt. Jose Sixtos considered the simple question about morale for more than an hour. But not until his convoy of armored Humvees had finally rumbled back into the Baghdad military base, and the soldiers emptied the ammunition from their machine guns, and passed off the bomb-detecting robot to another patrol, did he turn around in his seat and give his answer.

"'Think of what you hate most about your job. Then think of doing what you hate most for five straight hours, every single day, sometimes twice a day, in 120-degree heat,' he said. 'Then ask how morale is.'"

Tensions mount at Iraq-Turkey border

"Turkish Foreign Minister Abdullah Gul last week summoned the U.S. and Iraqi ambassadors to warn them that his country would act in self-defense if effective measures were not taken to end the presence in northern Iraq of the PKK, or Kurdistan Workers Party."

Frat Boy's foreign policy has brought peace and tranquillity to the world.

US agency hid cost overruns in Iraq, audit finds

"The U.S. agency responsible for administering $1.4 billion in reconstruction funds in Iraq has sought to hide major cost overruns on high-profile projects from Congress by engaging in questionable accounting maneuvers, according to a federal audit released late Friday.

"The agency has masked budget spillovers on a children's hospital in the southern city of Basra and other facilities by hiding the expenditures in seemingly unrelated accounts, the report from the Special Inspector General for Iraq Reconstruction says."

US plans $4.6 billion in Mideast arms sales

"The Bush administration spelled out plans on Friday to sell $4.6 billion of arms to moderate Arab states, including battle tanks worth as much as $2.9 billion to protect critical Saudi infrastructure.

"The announcement came two weeks after the administration said it would sell Israel its latest supply of JP-8 aviation fuel valued at up to $210 million to help Israeli warplanes 'keep peace and security in the region.'''

There was a great line in the film, Lord of War, about the worst news an arms dealer could hear was a story about peace breaking out. And it seems odd that much of the UN Security Council is comprised of nations that are leading arms dealers. One would think the UN position would make selling weapons mutually exclusive.

Why the court said No (Scroll down)

"These realities make the Supreme Court's decision in Hamdan v. Rumsfeld, issued on the last day of its 2005-2006 term, in equal parts stunning and crucial. Stunning because the Court, unlike Congress, the opposition party, or the American people, actually stood up to the President. Crucial because the Court's decision, while on the surface narrowly focused on whether the military tribunals President Bush created to try foreign suspects for war crimes were consistent with U.S. law, marked, at a deeper level, a dramatic refutation of the administration's entire approach to the 'war on terror.'"

White House bill proposes system to try detainees

"Legislation drafted by the Bush administration setting out new rules on bringing terror detainees to trial would allow hearsay evidence to be introduced unless it was deemed 'unreliable' and would permit defendants to be excluded from their own trials if necessary to protect national security, according to a copy of the proposal."

Frat house justissssssss.

Legal group says Bush undermines law by ignoring select parts of bills

"In a comprehensive report, a bipartisan 11-member panel of the bar association said Mr. Bush had used such 'signing statements' far more than his predecessors, raising constitutional objections to more than 800 provisions in more than 100 laws on the ground that they infringed on his prerogatives."

Should the prerogatives of the criminally insane be upheld?

Why is the president ignoring our laws?

"As Abraham Lincoln said, if bad laws exist they should 'be repealed as soon as possible, still, while they continue in force, for the sake of example they should be religiously observed.' President Lincoln devoutly believed that rule of law assured that ours would continue to be a government of the people, by the people and for the people.

"And that should be the first demand of every American today."

Top 10 signs of the impending US police state

"1. The Internet Clampdown

One saving grace of alternative media in this age of unfettered corporate conglomeration has been the internet. While the masses are spoon-fed predigested news on TV and in mainstream print publications, the truth-seeking individual still has access to a broad array of investigative reporting and political opinion via the world-wide web. Of course, it was only a matter of time before the government moved to patch up this crack in the sky."

Detainee abuse charges feared: Shield sought from '96 War Crimes Act

"An obscure law approved by a Republican-controlled Congress a decade ago has made the Bush administration nervous that officials and troops involved in handling detainee matters might be accused of committing war crimes, and prosecuted at some point in U.S. courts.

"Senior officials have responded by drafting legislation that would grant U.S. personnel involved in the terrorism fight new protections against prosecution for past violations of the War Crimes Act of 1996. That law criminalizes violations of the Geneva Conventions governing conduct in war and threatens the death penalty if U.S.-held detainees die in custody from abusive treatment."

If they knew they weren't guilty, why would they fear being charged with war crimes? It's clear these cretins need to do some gallows time.

Is Bush trying to dodge the gallows?

"Could George Bush, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, and maybe Alberto Gonzales all end up sucking poison gas?

"That, apparently, is a concern now being taken seriously by Attorney General Gonzales, who is quietly working with senior White House officials and friendly members of Congress to do what murderous dictators in Chile, Argentina and other bloodthirsty regimes have done as their future in office began to look uncertain: pass laws exempting them from prosecution for murder."


UN body criticises US on rights

"The US should immediately shut all secret detention facilities used in its campaign against terror groups, the UN Human Rights Committee has said.

"The UN report also covered the domestic human rights situation in the US."

Rogue president, rogue nation.

Who needs Congress or courts with Bush in charge?

"Congress passes a law that says the U.S. won't torture people. The president says OK, we won't -- unless we really need to, thus adopting an exception Congress had specifically and vociferously rejected."

Bush submits new terror detainee bill

"U.S. citizens suspected of terror ties might be detained indefinitely and barred from access to civilian courts under legislation proposed by the Bush administration, say legal experts reviewing an early version of the bill."

Looks like we could be "disappeared" at the whim of Evil Moron.

Polls indicate growing dissatisfaction with two parties in US

"The most significant and persistent feature of American social reality is the immense and still-growing level of inequality. According to an article published in the New York Times on July 19 ('The Rise of the Super Rich,' by Teresa Tritch), between 2003 and 2004, 'real average income for the top 1 percent of households—those making more than $315,000 in 2004—grew by nearly 17 percent. For the remaining 99 percent, the average gain was less than 3 percent,' most of which went to the top 20 percent."

'Protection' act would strip consumers of credit safeguards

"Backed by the lucrative financial-services industry, the Financial Data Protection Act of 2005 would narrow the circumstances in which consumers could restrict their credit activity to prevent fraudulent borrowing, and it would undermine stronger state-based reporting rules for companies that hold and sell consumer data."

It makes BushCo's job so much easier when special interests write their own legislation.

Judge dismisses phone records lawsuit

"'The court is persuaded that requiring AT&T to confirm or deny whether it has disclosed large quantities of telephone records to the federal government could give adversaries of this country valuable insight into the government's intelligence activities,' U.S. District Judge Matthew F. Kennelly said."

Justice Department sues to block Missouri from getting phone records

"The federal government sued two members of the Missouri Public Service Commission on Tuesday to stop them from seeking information about customer records that telephone companies may have given to the National Security Agency."

The Diebold bombshell

"Even more shockingly, we learned recently that Diebold and the State of Maryland had been aware of these vulnerabilities for at least two years. They were documented in analysis, commissioned by Maryland and conducted by RABA Technologies, published in January 2004. For over two years, Diebold has chosen not to fix the security holes, and Maryland has chosen not to alert other states or national officials about these problems."

Alaska refuses - again - to release 2004 election data!

"The State of Alaska website shows 16 of 40 house districts with more than 200% voter turnout, Also, if you add up the vote totals from each district they come to more than 100,000 votes for state wide candidates than the summary reports show.

"More than 7 months ago the Democrats asked for an explanation. The state said it could not release the data files because they were proprietary to Diebold.

"Diebold gave the state permission to release the files."

Behind the blackouts

"Ken Lay may have passed away and Jeff Skilling and other former executives face dozens of years behind bars, but Enron’s legacy—single-handedly pushing electric power deregulation at the federal and state levels—unfortunately remains the law of the land. The radical restructuring that Enron achieved a decade ago overturned a century of orderly, accountable electricity planning that had made America’s power system the envy of the world. But our deregulated system is now a mockery, and consumers are left with higher prices and poorer reliability. That’s why our electric grid—from the August 2003 blackout that cascaded across the Midwest and Northeast, to recent power outages in New York and California—is more susceptible to failures that trigger blackouts."

Shell 2Q profit up 40 pct. on oil prices

"Net profit rose to $7.32 billion from $5.24 billion a year earlier. Sales rose less than 1 percent to $83.1 billion from $82.6 billion."

Glut of unsold new homes across US hits record high

"The glut of brand new unsold homes for sale across the United States hit a record high in June, a government report showed, as some economists warned of a worsening market in coming months."

World trade talks collapse

"The European Union and India firmly pointed the finger at the United States for the final breakdown, saying that Washington had been demanding too high a price for cutting into the some $20 billion it spends annually on farm subsidies.

"Accusing the United States of 'stone-walling,' EU Trade Commissioner Peter Mandelson said: 'Surely the richest and strongest nation in the world, with the highest standards of living, can afford to give as well as take.'"

BushCo? Certainly not!

Taxpayer-funded propaganda against global warming
"Corporations from a variety of industries are funding a coordinated, multi-faceted propaganda blitz attacking global warming science. Some of the details were revealed in a memo by the Intermountain Rural Electric Association (IREA), a small electric cooperative in Colorado that purchases electricity from coal-based power plants, distributed 'to the more than 900 fellow members of the National Rural Electric Cooperative Association.' The memo, written by IREA general manager Stanley Lewandowski, expresses fear that government action on global warming could impact the profitability of coal-based power generation. In response, Lewandowski says it is necessary to 'support the scientific community that is willing to stand up against the alarmists.' (The term 'alarmist' refers to people who believe that global warming is a problem. Such people are also referred to in the memo as those 'whose true motivation is to stop growth, develop renewable resources [and] discontinue the use of fossil fuels, especially coal.') One problem: there is no 'scientific community' that disputes the basic science on global warming. The memo acknowledges that almost all the doubters have no 'involvement in climatology.' Their solution is to lavish money on the one climatologist who they are confident will do their bidding: Pat Michaels. The memo reveals that the small Colorado cooperative has paid Michaels $100,000 this year and is aggressively seeking more donations for Michaels from other electric cooperatives. The effort to fund Michaels is described in the memo as part of a larger effort to distort global warming science that involves several Fortune 500 corporations, a think tank, misleading advertisements, lobbying, and a propaganda film."

Putin and Chavez seal weapons deal

"President Vladimir Putin courted Venezuelan leader Hugo Chavez in the Kremlin on Thursday, offering the strongly anti-American leader broad political support and giving his blessing to hefty arms orders and budding oil and gas projects."

GOP Senator Norm Coleman's father in public sex bust

"Coleman's father was arrested for lewd and disorderly conduct after he was found having sex outside a pizzeria with 38-year old Patrizia Marie Schrag. Norm Coleman, Sr., is 81-years old."

Privately, Sen. Coleman is said to have uttered, 'Way to go, Dad!" GOP family values.

Eye test 'could spot Alzheimer's'

"The test, developed by a team led by Dr Lee Goldstein, of Brigham and Women's Hospital, Boston, uses a non-invasive laser to study the lens of the eye."

We've all been touched by someone with Alzheimer's. Would be nice to know early in order to pack in a lot of living before the curtain fell.

Quotes from

"I hate to say this but what the Israelis are doing is the killing of hostages." -- Zbigniew Brzezinski WaHoPo

"Congress is the biggest single problem we have. This is a Congress that doesn't want to ask questions, or if it asks questions is willing to take no for an answer. Here we are three years into this war and there's not been a single significant hearing on the conduct of the war. The division commanders have never been called up before Congress. How did it go? What's your relationship with Rumsfeld like? Not a single general has been relieved by the leadership." -- Thomas Ricks, author of: "Fiasco in Iraq",

Funny cartoon of Bush

"This president has a very firm world view that is not about to be changed by facts or realities. There are good guys and bad guys. Right now, Israelis are the good guys and Hezbollah, Syria and Iran are the bad guys... Bush's refusal to deal directly with Hezbollah, Syria or Iran 'is a manifestation of this world view: We don't talk to bad people.'' -- Ivo Daalder, Clinton's NSC director of European affairs

"It's fashionable to blame the US for all the world's ills, but in this case, Bush [is] at the heart of the trouble...Bush's animating idea has been that the peoples of the Middle East can be bombed into democracy and terrorised into moderation. It has proved one of the great lethal mistakes of his abominable presidency -- and the people of Israel and Lebanon are paying the price." -- Jonathan Freedland,

"Rumsfeld's detachment from his own responsibility is breathtaking." -- Andrew Sullivan, Bush lover (literally?) Link

"The Bush White House is such a toxic-waste disaster area. Are they really that insane, Wolfowitz, Perle, Rumsfeld, Cheney and the Bushes that they believe they can force the Second Coming, the Rapture of the Elect, and the damnation of the rest of us by initiating Armageddon? -- Nagajchaos

"That's what is so frustrating about watching him deal - or not deal - with Iraq and Lebanon. There's almost nothing to watch. It's not even like watching paint dry, since that, too, is a passage from one state to another. It's like watching dry paint." -- Maureen Dowd, July 26, on Dumbshit Bush, maruthecrankpot

"Condi left faster than she came, and no one will listen to her." -- Jad al-Ali, a protestor in Beirut, Link

"America didn't come to [Iraq] for our sake. America came with a pure Zionist agenda." --Mah al-Mash, current speaker of the Iraqi parliament, Link

"Condoms and teenagers work about 50% of the time..." - Sen. Tom Coburn, Oklahoma's Junior embarrassment Link

"President Bush has been very clear that, through his leadership, he has made the world safer. My question is: how much safer can the world afford to have him make us?" -- Jon Stewart, interviewing former straight-talker turned whore John McCain,

"Why not just use stem cells from still-warm Iraqi babies?" -- some poster on,

"We requested a stop the bleeding in Lebanon." -- Saudi Foreign Minister al-Faisal, Link

"Screw a cease fire - the boss is making billions a day..." -- White House national security spokesman Frederick Jones, Link

"How can Bush so ardently proclaim his 'pro-life' beliefs and at the same time act so nonchalant describing the "30,000, more or less," dead Iraqis during the war, presumably including several thousand innocents among them." -- Jon Stewart, more courage than anyone in congress,

"The greatest hoax ever perpetrated on the American people. It kind of reminds . . . I could use the Third Reich, the big lie..." -- Sen Jim Inhofe, (R-Pissquik) about the global warming "lies",

"Remember when Bush waited to send help after Katrina? Remember when Bush waited to go after Osama at Tora Bora? Remember when Bush, er... didn't go after the Anthrax Killer? Or when he let the bin Laden family leave without questioning? Remember Bush's "Pet Goat" moment on 9/11? Feel the same way this week?" --BlogBox, Link

George Bush don't care about black people. George Bush don't care about poor people. George Bush don't care about Iraqi people. George Bush don't care about people.

Ticket please!

George and Laura Bush, and Bill and Hillary Clinton are traveling by train to the Super Bowl. At the station George and Laura each buy a ticket and watch as Bill and Hillary buy just one ticket. "How are the two of you going to travel on only one ticket?" asks George W,astonished at what he is seeing."Watch and learn," answers Hilary.

They all board the train. George and Laura take their respective seats but Bill and Hillary cram in a toilet together and close the door. The conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the toilet door and says, "Ticket,please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.The Bushes see this happen and agree it was quite a clever idea.

They Karl Rove and ask what they should do. So after the game, when they get to the station they see the Clinton's at the ticket window buying a single ticket for the return trip.To their astonishment, the Clinton's see that the Bushes don't buy any tickets at all.Aren't you taking a terrible chance by traveling without a ticket?" says Hillary. "Live and learn," answers Laura Bush. When they board the train the Bushes cram themselves into a toilet and the Clinton's cram into another toilet just down the way. Shortly after the train leaves the station, George W. leaves their toilet and walks over to the Clinton's toilet, knocks on their door and says, "Ticket, please."...And Democrats are still wondering how they lost the election.

Le Monde News Article (Translated by Associated Free Press)

Gift To the U.S. and the World Rejected

July 25, 2006 – Dr. Racine Gespard, M.D., of the French Institute for Stem Cell Research, announced today an amazing break-through in the use of stem cells to help the world. In addition to significant advances made to treat diabetes, Parkinson’s disease, Alzheimer’s, and spinal cord injuries, he states that the institute has proven that stem cell technology can treat mental deficiencies. To illustrate, he demonstrated a cloned ostrich with an unusually large head that could mimic human speech, much like a trained parrot. Dr. Gespard explained that he experimented with an ostrich, because it has one of the smallest brains, which is very limited, except for basic survival decisions, such as sticking its head in the sand. "Unlike his ancestors," he says, "after the injections of the stem cells, this ostrich does not demonstrate this common ostrich basic instinct, and instead, tries to talk his way out of trouble.”

Dr. Gespard further explained that with this advancement, “we have already begun human experimentation, and we expect to reveal next week, how we were able to inject stem cells into a severely retarded child with inappropriate and belligerent social skills, who now has normal intelligence and good social skills."

"Before we went public with this advance, as a gift to the American people, much like our gift of the Statue of Liberty, and as just as significant to the rest of the world, we contacted the United States White House, to ask if the President would be interested in receiving stem cell treatments to raise his intelligence and his ability to think out and respond to world problems."

He went on explain that the U.S. President himself returned his call to decline the offer and angrily responded, "I’m the President; I don’t have to think."

Presidential Library Destroyed By Flood

Crawford, Texas (AP) A tragic flood this morning destroyed the personal library of President George W.Bush. The flood began in the presidential bathroom where both of the books were kept. Both books have been lost.A presidential spokesman said the president was devastated, as he had almost finished coloring the second one. The White House tried to call FEMA, but there was no answer.


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